Master bathroom!

So, this was our master bathroom. I don't have a picture of the bathroom before we took most of the wallpaper down, but it was BAD. Imagine *every* single painted surface of this bathroom covered in yellowing wallpaper that had tiny blue, pink and green flowers on it - it was so 70's-tastic, and not in the good way (you can see scraps of wallpaper in some of the photos below). We had a huge old-person toilet (tall and long), old people handle bars on the walls, and no decent towel hangers. In addition, the shower curtain was boring, the puffy valance on top of the window was light pink and the walls were in pretty bad shape once we took the wallpaper off.

After! We got all the wallpaper off and had the walls repainted white, got a new valance, new hardware, a new shower curtain, and a water-saver toilet (thank you City of Madison for the $100 rebate!). *All* this was less than $200 in parts, the labor (we had someone take off the rest of the wallpaper and paint the walls for us) was about $400. I decided to do a white, chocolate brown and light blue color scheme:

I now absolutely *adore* this bathroom! :)

Missing

At the risk of sounding like one of these people, I miss D. He was gone M-F last week and this week too, and even though I was also gone M-W of both weeks, I sincerely miss having him around.
*sigh*

Sober

"I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the morning
'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home
Aahh, the sun is blinding
I stayed up again
Oohh, I am finding
That's not the way I want my story to end
I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence...
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?
Aahh, the night is calling
And it whispers to me softly, "come and play"
Aahh, I am falling
And if I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame
When it's good, then it's good, it's so good, 'till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry 'Never again'
Broken down in agony just trying to find a friend
I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?
How do I feel this good sober?"
~Pink

Lucky

"laughing through the day
thinking you are never boring
speeding through the night
maybe you'll not count the morning

living for today
but you just can't find tomorrow
talking 'bout the joy
but it never stops the sorrow

even though you said
it would never end it's over
you were smiling on my arm
now you're crying on my shoulder

you can never be forever
good together
young and clever
you can never be forever
but keep it up
don't ever stop
through night and day
the words to say are:

I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lovely lovely
I'm so lovely lovely

you can fool yourself
i promise it will help
now every single day
i just wanna hear you saying

I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lovely lovely
I'm so lovely lovely

you can fool yourself
i promise it will help
now every single day
i just wanna hear you saying"

~Lucky Twice

Outta My Head

"What?
Is that all you got to say?
What? What?
You're rubbing me the wrong way
See your lips moving
But I don't catch a word you say
Shut up your chatter
I need for you to go away
What?
You looking at me for huh?
Show me
Respect or I will show you the door
Get out the door
Lately
I've got a problem with the way that you behave
You're too much
And all your questions don't leave me no time for me
All your opinions keep them to yourself
Just let me think so I can hear myself
Wouldn't it be nice if I could just go solo, take the day off?
I'd be alright if you would leave me to it, back the fuck off
You tell me one more time how I should live
I swear I'll bite your head off
I am who I am and I can't be no one else
You got nothing left to say
Keep your comments to yourself
And all I hear is ay ya ya ya ya
You're talking way too much
I can't even hear me now
All your noise is messing with my head
Get outta my head"
~Ashlee Simpson

Updates to the house

So, in the past 9 months or so, D and I have done a lot of changes and updates to the house. Right now our main focus is the master bathroom - pictures of that to come after we're all done.

We did get a shiny new shower handle though, which is super nice, because the old one was falling apart and old and gunky and just generally not nice.

Other changes:

Living room before, w/boring walls and lace on the windows:

Living room after:

Kitchen w/spastic wallpaper everywhere:

Kitchen newly repainted:

Dining room before w/plain walls, gold chandelier, and old patio door:

Dining room, repainted, new patio door, and new chandelier:

New guest bathroom, with wallpaper border taken down and painted a nice light green:

I'm super psyched about the master bath - bound to be the best change yet! Stay tuned :)

Reflecting

With articles like this, it makes me so grateful that I'm in a relatively stable, well-paying job.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090127/ap_on_bi_ge/consumer_confidence

New dishwasher!

So, the old dishwasher wasn't doing too well on the whole "washing" front. Having gotten tired of having to handwash everything, I dragged D out to Sears (he hates spending money...........) the day after Christmas to see what deals they had on dishwashers. I had two specific things that I wanted, and the rest was negotiable. One of them - a display that tells you how much time is left in the cycle. I like having those little numbers! But alas, almost no dishwashwer has them anymore. We found only one dishwasher that had both things I wanted (the display, plus I wanted a disposal in the dishwasher, not the filters that you have to clean every so often.........yucky). So, at least the decision on which one to buy was easy!

It's a maytag bright white tall tub dishwasher, and a guy came to swap out the old one and put in the new one on January 2nd. It felt like it took FOREVER to fill up that dishwasher the first time (OMG it's huge), and then when it was full we ran it.

BEAUTIFUL!

I had forgotten what clean dishes looked like. Yey!

Though, my 70's bakelite utensils shouldn't go in the dishwasher (I handwash those). And D's mother bought us a whole set of super swanky pots and pans for Christmas - so it's not like we can put those in the dishwasher either :P

Still Running

"Shaking like a leaf as the season's changing
Clearly out of luck and a way to fall
She regards her life as an act of treason
I’ve been such a fool on my quest to fix her
No one's ever gotten really close to her yet
Shallow as she seems she’s the darkest river
Even though she’s just a child, get ready
Just a child, get ready
To run..."
~Benjamin Bates

Damaged

When will you accept the fact that I am damaged?
And when will it be ok?

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Only a day and a half until I get 4 1/2 days off of work.........and only 2 and a 1/2 days until I get a day to myself after spending xmas at the in-law's...........must.....not....kill......anyone....................

When did being nice become being censored?

I'm so sick of this "don't say anything anytime that might possibly sort of offend someone or that they could take a twist in their small minds to mean something that they may not really like".

ARGH!

Since when did just being courteous and nice become being so fucking censored that you can't even say what you mean anymore? I'm not talking about being mean or rude - I'm just talking about just getting to the point and not dancing around the subject like a fucking trained monkey.

Or saying something like "WTF" or "Jesus Christ". One is an acronym, another is a made up creature. And yet, saying something like that "might not reflect well" on me. Whoa - huh? Seriously? And even if it doesn't you think I CARE about that? If someone takes offense to those sorts of things (especially when it's said in reference to something that has NOTHING to do with them), then they need to grow a pair and stop being a thin-skinned wimp. And, secondly - I don't care about that person! If they take offense, then they're totally discredited in my book and they don't matter to my life anymore. You think I want the same things you do? You think I want to get promoted to a group of people who I think are a bunch of idiotic talking heads with nothing better to do than harass everyone into being perfect molds of their robotic selves? Cuz then you are dumber than I thought. I don't like playing the game and I don't want what you have enough to compromise my dignity. Lay off.

Mad

"She's starin' at me,
I'm sittin', wonderin' what she's thinkin'
Nobody's talkin',
'Cause talkin' just turns into screamin'
And now it’s I'm yellin' over her,
She's yellin’ over me
And all that that means
Is neither of us is listening
And what's even worse
That we don't even remember why we’re fighting

What happened to workin' it out
We've fallen into this place
Where you ain't backin' down
And I ain't backin' down
So what the hell do we do now

It's all for nothin'
Fighting for nothin'
Crying for nothin'
But we won't let it go for nothin'
No not for nothin'
This should be nothin'
To a love like what we got

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you,
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you,
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Ohhh no no no..."

~Ne-yo

Thanks and Truth

Now that the holidays are coming up (ack, already??) I start to think of what I am thankful for, and why. There's a lot:
1) My husband. As cliche as it may sound, I am so grateful that I met D. He takes me for who I am, and pushes me towards a better me, no matter how much I may push back. He accepts that mistakes that I made prior to (and after) meeting me, and understands when I cry about them. He understands who I am and what I am. He has forgiven me for things that I've believed that I can't forgive myself for. He is my rock.
2) My family. Even though (or in spite of the fact that) I spent hours obsessing over the wedding, my parents loved it. My mother was so happy, my dad wore his uncomfortable tux (and looked fabu) and my grandma and brother were there. My mother even said she was so amazed at how we handled the whole thing - we hadn't seen the facility or the cake, and still I loved it and managed to have fun. I love that she recognized that. And I loved that I was able to make their only child's (since my twin brother will probably not be allowed to get legally married anytime soon....................what bullshit!) wedding fun and memorable, despite all the drama we went through .
3) My bridesmaids - Loud and Ding and my most favorite roommate ever, Ange. Girls, I know I didn't involve you in a lot of stuff, but you were my go-to girls when I had questions. I couldn't have done it without you.
4) Lucia - I heard about the mini-bottles of booze afterwards - you helped everyone have a great time, and my mom loved you. You didn't make a big deal out of her blindness and even toasted to her 4 lobsters. Thank you.
5) All of my friends who came to the WI reception. Thank you for coming out to celebrate the most joyous occasion of D and I's lives. It meant a lot to me that you came out, made the bar bill way higher than we expected, and just had a great time - I love you all.
6) My family and friends - D's parents are extremely anti-gay. But my brother was still a participant in the ceremony, and I couldn't have done that without you guys politely keeping your mouths shut - I truely couldn't have imagined it without him. I will still work on my new in-laws on this issue, but I doubt that they will change. So thank you.
7) The house - I love it! I finally feel as if I'm putting down roots in this town, and god knows I've never had that before. It's perfect.
8) My job - yeah, sometimes it sucks, and I work long hours. But it's a job I like, and it pays well, so I can't complain (too much :P)
9) My friends - thank you all for being around as you were. And I can't wait to see you at this year's gala.

Speaking of that, there is much to get done for that! So much for hibernating before the holidays :)

Snapshot Memories

“Everything's in slow motion
Hands in the air
Sweat flying everywhere
But we don't care
Well you could try to fight the feeling
But I can't see the use
There's so much love in this room
And yes its all drug induced
Can't remember who I am
Or what I'm doing here
But at the same time
In my mind
Everything is clear
No fear and no drama
It's all good karma
And I never can forget
The night before the morning after
Well there's more to life than this
Of that I'm fully aware
But there's nothing more intense
Than crazy nights we shared
We got bass for the body
Chemicals for the head
Every day lives
Were like a skin we shed
Well you could try to fight the feeling
But I can't see the use
There's so much love in this room
Of that we're living proof
You could try to fight the feeling
But I can't see the use
It's a shame that in the end
It was all drug induced
Sun up to sun down
Come up to come down
Just waiting for Friday to come around
Sun rise to sun set
How high can we get
Monday morning and none of us have slept yet…”
~Just Jack

YEY!

We spent last night watching the election with friends - the kinds of friends who crack open a brand new bottle of tequila and rally everyone for shots every time Obama got a swing state. Seeing him win was very unreal - I was elated beyond belief. I still can't believe that we won - did America finally wake up?
I think that just the idea of having a new, fresh face in the White House will give this country the jump start it needs to start turning itself around from the very wrong direction in which the current administration has steered us.
The (now empty) tequila bottle has earned a place of honor on the downstairs shelf, along with the bottle of champagne that we drank when we moved into our house, one of the many bottles of champagne that was opened when we got engaged, and various symbols of other important events. That bottle symbolizes a start of a new era, and I'm so excited about it.

Got any great ground beef recipes?

We got the 1/4 steer the other week, and wow, that's a LOT of beef. Actually, we now have 32 lbs (!!!!) of just ground beef.
I've already thought of:
1) Shepard's pie
2) Meatloaf
3) Stuffed peppers
4) Tacos
5) Hamburgers

........and that's all I can think of at the moment. Anyone have simple, tasty recipes that don't involve hamburger helper? :P

Low Place Like Home

"Treat your life like a tragedy, self-inflict abuse
Treat your life like a tragedy, precious else to choose
Crucify yourself, I hope you find yourself
In a low place like home"
~Sneaker Pimps

Medicine

"Everybody's looking for what they want
And everybody's looking for what they need
Gotta keep on looking for what I want
But I don't even know your name
So I will call you medicine
You can ease my pain
I don't wanna feel the same
Tonight I need your medicine
To put out the flame
Medicine
Running through my veins"
~Kim Leoni

Bacon!

This year, D and I decided to get 1/2 a hog an 1/4 of a steer from farmer's market vendors to last us through the winter. The steer is currently hanging (moment of silence) so we won't get it for a couple more weeks, but we did get the pig already. D was kind enough to scan the receipt for me:







And just in case you can't read it (D's mother's scanner isn't the best) - that does read that we have 8.3 lbs of the most wonderful, delicious, heavenly bacon I have ever tasted (it's actually down to 7.4 lbs now :P).

EDIT: You can click on the picture to enlarge it!

Case in point....

I just re-found my college anthem!

"I'm drunk
And right now I'm so in love with you
And I don't want to think too much about what we should or shouldn't do
Lay my hands on heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars
While the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car
Nothing quite like the feel of something new
I swear
I just found everything I need
The sweat in your eyes the blood in your veins are listening to me
Well I want to rip it up and swim in it until I drown
My moral standing is lying down
Nothing quite like the feel of something new
Maybe I'm all messed up
Maybe I'm all messed up in you
This is the only time I really feel alive"
~NIN

I knew this would happen...

Apparently random drunken musings carry more weight than they were meant to. Sunday morning's post was me thinking out loud some thoughts that I've carried with me for many years now - this is nothing new, and no act spawned them.
This blog is a place for me to write down my thoughts as they come, a place for me to write stream-of-consciousness style so that I can work through my chaotic mind. So please - don't jump to conclusions :)

When is it cheating?

**Note: I freely admit to being tipsy if not drunk while writing this.**

So, when is it cheating? I was the kind of girl who couldn't commit to anyone in college, and slept with whatever guy was cute and willing, while seeing other guys. I never realized how damaging it was to said other guys, but it was. But now that I'm in a committed relationship (aka I'm married), what is considered cheating? Is it thinking about someone else? Is it making out with someone else? Is it getting off in front of someone else? Is it sleeping with someone else?
Obviously, most people say it's getting physical with someone other than your significant other. But is that where you draw the line? I mean, in college I had two-night stands. Not one-night stands - the guy and I would usually get tired of each other after two random nights, and that was cool with me. They weren't a mystery to me anymore, and I'm sure they felt the same way. But now that I'm married, I need to actually be faithful to one person, and what does that mean?
Does that mean I can't look at other guys and admire their physique?
I don't think so. I'm not dead.
But, hypothetically, does it mean missing out on the chance to make out with another (married or not) person with whom you've wanted to make out with for X number of years? Hypothetically, people, don't flood this entry with "shame on you" comments. But seriously, does getting married mean that you've given up the chance to ever get it on with anyone else?
I think it does, unfortunately. And I know some people will be annoyed that I'm asking this. And that's ok with me. I'm used to going against the grain :P
But what's difficult is giving up the chance to experience new guys. Everyone is new. And I enjoyed that in college, no doubt. The number that I slept with was in the double digits, which is ok with me, because it was FUN. Different. New. Etc etc. I always wanted to live my life in such a way so that, on my deathbed, I would lamant what I DID do (which I swore I'd never do, and I don't till this day), rather than what I DIDN'T do. I never wanted to be one of those people who wondered "what would have happened?". I know it's pretty much inescapable, but I can do my best to stop it. :)
So, again, if you get the chance to make out with someone who you've wanted to for X number of years, and you make out with them, but you stop short of having them get you off or them watching you get off, is that good?
Is it right?
Obviously the answer is that you should never get in that situation. But why does being bad always feel so good?

Pictures are up

The pictures from the RI wedding are up on the bellapictures.com/photos website! They're gorgeous. Lovelovelovelove our photographer.

Favorite picture right now:

Lobster!

Since we had the wedding in Rhode Island, I totally had to east-coast-it-up and do a lobster boil as the dinner. Most favorite picture from the RI reception:

I haz a nu name!

Wow, so I'm like, officially Jennifer Michelle Rygiewicz now. You know, the strangest part of this is getting used to signing a new name. Seriously! And my name is very strongly linked to my identity as a person. So changing it is giving me the willies.

But, just to prove that I'm still the same, I have purchased a 10 lb box of red peppers that I will be roasting and canning for this winter. Hehe!

Also, gratuitous promotion of the wedding - go here to see photos (when they actually get put up):
www.bellapictures.com/photos

And, if you have some, you can upload them like I did (my brother took some AWESOME ones that he gave me)! You do need to log in, but that just consists of making a user name and password. Or you can let me know where your pictures are and I can upload them. I know that Loud lost her camera (very sad!!!) but I'm pretty sure there are others out there besides my brother who took pictures. Especially of the madness that went on afterwards in downtown Newport!! :)

Canning - year two, act two

Got 50 lbs of tomatoes this year, plus some from the CSA and garden. Most of the ones from the CSA share and our garden got thrown together with some veggies (garlic, peppers (sweet and hot), onions, etc) to create a spicy base for a pasta sauce, which was then bagged and frozen.

However, the two 25 lb boxes were all fodder for canning!

The first box, which contained a lot of large tomatoes:

The second box, with a larger number of smaller tomatoes:

I definitely used the dishwasher to santize over two dozen pint jars!

Starting on the first batch:

The "bloodbath":

The first batch are getting ready to be canned:

I recruited the fiancé to help again this year, here he's starting on the second batch:

Every single jar is filled!

I had to do a third, smaller batch later in the week to use up the rest of the tomatoes:

The prettiest jar of them all with a few beautiful, colorful heirloom tomatoes:

I'm sure that I'll use them all this winter again. Now it's off to make pesto with all the basil from the garden before we leave for the wedding!!!!!!!!

Glory Days

"I'm feelin groovy
Kicking down the cobble stones
And there's music in every sight and every sound no need for headphones
I'll tip my cap to the world even though I don't wear one
Grinning at the women in the salon getting their hair done
On the outside looking in Like an aquarium
Spinning with the stars in the planetarium
Deliriously
Mysteriously
I'm feeling curiously marvelously super duper
Like Joss Stone my heart melts like ice cream cones
Grinning like a dog digging up dinosaur bones
I used to be fossilized but now I'm out of my shell
And I'm happier than whores with chivalrous clientele
This can't be real I must be dreaming can somebody slap me
I'm feeling so mischievous original cheeky chappy
It must be ages since I felt satisfied
Just to be Just Jack
And just that's still intact
I'm so warm new dawn reborn new forms
And I'm thinking about my boys Joe le chic and Freshly Sean
And I know you're underrated but one day we'll all make it
And walk around naked with our bollocks platinum plated
Anyway I'm off track gotta stop that
And get back to the high street I need something to eat
Stop at the caf
Coffee and a Sobe bagel
Yea I know I'm Cain'd
But now I'm feeling Abel
I used to get so paranoid in places like this
Stayed in my house for days with my weed psychosis
My neurosis was thinking everybody is staring at my red eyes and shifty expression
But now I'm past caring
And I can feel that destiny is on my side
And by the looks of things Fate came along for the ride
Behind green skies I can see my girl's eyes
Dammit I'm in love with this planet you gotta realize
Its time to look to the future
Just when I was getting used to the humdrum
I realized in the depths of my depression that I really wanted to be someone
So lets smash the past like a tacky figurine on the back page of a supplementary magazine
But for the time being bump your head to the beat
Sit back, put your feet up and relax
Its just another one of those glory days
Jump out your bed shake your head clear the haze
Step out your house and prepared to be amazed
It's just another one of those glory days"
~Just Jack

Some things are private

Why is it that some people can't understand that there are some moments that are personal and private, and not something that you want shared with perfect fucking strangers?

There is a reason we are having the wedding in Rhode Island - because, plain and simple, I don't want people there. I love you all, but this is something that I feel very strongly about - this is a private moment between D and myself, and no one else. But D wanted a wedding, and D's mother insisted that she come, and now she's having D's father take pictures that she's going to bring to the reception and show to everybody there.

She's going to show people who I don't know and will never see again the most private and personal moment that I will ever have. And I'm fucking miserable.

Pickling

This winter I'm hoping to have some pickles (in addition to tomatoes and green beans) stored away in the pantry. I did dill pickles since that's what D likes. This didn't take half as long as the tomatoes from last year did! :)

Why I love summer

What's been keeping me busy lately

So in addition to the canoe trip, and the 2008 Deep Fry/housewarming party (which I have yet to post about, but I will soon), I have had various other things to keep me busy this summer.
One thing is, of course, wedding stuff, which has yet to cease and which I'm afraid won't until long after the wedding is done. But there has also been stuff on the home front! One of the things is our new garage door - after a long, almost 2 month saga, it works and we can now park our cars in the garage! The old door was the same yellow color as the house, and the wood has warped and sagged, so we bought a shiny new white one that goes beautifully with the house:

Also, we took out the old front door (it was red and didn't really go with the house), gave it to the Re-store, and swapped in a GORGEOUS new door that I love, love, love!

Also, some of the green beans got taken over by a weird fuzzy, white mold, but what I was able to salvage became the fodder for the flagship run of my new pressure canner!

All in all, it's been a busy, but awesome, summer so far:)

No Time

"Well how many times have we rowed and thrown tantrums?
And how many times have we loaded and cocked the hammers on our verbal guns?
And how many times has crockery and cutlery and cups of tea been thrown at me?
And how many times have I thrown words back at you I knew could cut you to the bone?

Well how many times have our friends warned us against this?
And I can't remember a time when I have felt so restless
And how many times have you said 'I'm leaving you no matter what you do'?
And how many times have I thrown words back at you I knew could kill you where you stand?

How many times have we slept side by side, a thousand miles apart?
And how many times have we thought we could finish something we could never even start?
How many times have I said I love you and I hate you in the same breath?
And how many times have we tried to grab something when there was nothin'...
We got no time left at all

See I don't want to talk about it, the way you broke my heart
I hate so many things about you I wouldnt know where to start
We got no time left at all..."

~Just Jack