Damaged

I think I've hit a wall in my life, where nothing works and nothing changes, and I'm so tired.
To make it worse, it's snowed here, and if there is one thing I couldn't do before the accident, it was drive in snow. Now, I have less control and feeling in my right foot than before, which freaks me out even more, and the accident was partially caused by an icy, slippery road. I will never forget the feeling of abject terror that woke me from my alcohol-induced memory loss that night. I remember that feeling and the feeling of being completely out of control, and I remember the feeling of impact when I finally hit the tree. Those feelings will haunt me for the rest of my life. I couldn't even get out of our driveway today because I'm so inept at driving in snow, and that combined with the stress of preparing myself to drive in snow led to an impromptu breakdown in the fiancé's car as he drove me to work because I couldn't drive myself.
My relationship is in shambles, my friendships aren't doing so well either because of how I acted on Friday (I slid waaaaaaaaaay backwards into self-destructive mode again, after promising that I wouldn't), and even though I have my bracelet off, I can't go anywhere because of the snow and the paralyzing fear caused by the feelings from the accident. To make things worse, the heat in our house isn't working so it's 50 degrees and freezing, the dishwasher doesn't work, and the cat woke us up at 12am again, this time to show me the DEAD MOUSE he had in his mouth.
I feel like I'm stuck in life the same way I was stuck in my driveway - wheels spinning in overdrive and all I'm doing is fishtailing around.
I'm out of control and I want to deal with it the way I always do - by doing very self-destructive things that I won't mention here. I want to get out of that rut, but I have no idea what else to do.

"Dreaming comes so easily
Cause it's all that I know
True love is a fairy tale
I'm damaged, so how would I know
I'm scared
And I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know
I didn't say all the things I wanted to say
But you can't take back what you keep taking away
Cause I feel you
I feel you, near me
The feeling comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Many won't get close to me
I'm damaged
As I'm sure you know
I can't go back
I must go..."
~Plummet