Rant

Disclaimer: I'm in a VERY pissy mood right now. This post will therefore reflect said mood.


I'm overworked, overwhelmed, overtired, and overstressed. And it's all because of the stupid home confinement for 3 months that starts in about 2 weeks. It means I can't hang out with friends at any place beside my house. It means I can't drink a single drop of alcohol - and face it, I like a beer or two after a sucky day at work, or when I go out to eat. Oh, wait, I can't go out to eat. I have to eat at my house. But I can't go to the farmer's market or anywhere else to buy my food, the fiancé will have to. I can't go to starbucks on my way to work. I can't speed because they'll be monitoring me by the stupid ankle bracelet. I also have to wear the jail ID bracelet on my wrist. WTF? Why do I have to do that?? So I'd better get used to wearing my wristband so I can hide it. I can't go anywhere (to the bathroom, to meetings) at work or anywhere without my purse which will be carrying my pretty little transmitter. Because as if having to wear BOTH the jail ID wristband and the ankle bracelet weren't enough, I have to carry around a transmitter too. Again, WTF?? I have to be home at 6pm every weekday, and all day on weekends. I have to call the sheriff's office every day I don't go into work until 8:30am instead of 7am, because I have to be here at 7am on Fridays only. I have to call them to get approval to go to the dentist. My life will be call to say I'm not going into work until 8:30am, get a ride to work from my "approved" ride (aka the fiancé), working until 6pm, get a ride home - both ways, while going only the speed limit (who fucking obeys that anyways) because these people apparently have nothing better to do than stare at the little moving dot on the screen that is me, check out my speed, the road I'm on, and the speed limit on that road, and then call me and yell at me to slow down. Then I get to sit at home with nothing to do because I can't do anything, and no alcohol to at least pass the interminable, crushing time.
WTF??????????
I hate these people. I dealt with them while I was in jail for 3 days 3 years ago, and they all have what I like to call "small dick complex". As in, "my dick is so small that I must throw around my hefty weight (mostly from the midsection, might I add) and also my heavy metaphorical I'm-better-than-you-just-because-I-couldn't-cut-it-in-a-normal-college-degree-program-so-I-got-a-criminal-justice-degree-at-a-2-year-college weight to feel better about my lack of worthiness to live".
Yeah, bite me. If you're so much better than me, why do I make at least double what you make? Why am I smarter than you? Why do I not have to resort to being condemming to feel better about myself? And why did I take a job where I actually contribute to society, while you decided to take a position that has a one line description : "Act like a complete asshole - utterly disregard inmates as people - and make up for your lack of masculinity at the same time!"
Yeah, I did something stupid because my alcohol tolerance is GENETICALLY sky high. GENETICS people, nothing I had ANY control over. When most people's bodies would shut down at .277, I'm up, walking around, and getting into my car and driving home, while no one realizes how trashed I am. I don't even remember the last few hours at the bar that night, nevermind driving home or deciding to drive home. So yeah, smooth move. But I've paid for it a thousand times over at a level that none of those idiots could ever even BEGIN to understand. And now they want to throw the book at me and make me a prisioner in my own home with no alcohol for 3 months. You are not better than me. In fact, you are beneath me. And yet you still feel like you have the right to judge me.
Eat me, you waste of space.
Oh, and if any of you feel the need to comment on this and defend these half-brained assholes, don't waste your time. Unless you've spent time in the Dane County Jail as an inmate, you don't have a valid opinion that comes from experience and I *will* delete it.