Hey Mom, look what I made!

Check out what we got to make during the stained glass workshop on Thursday night:

It's not very big, and it looks like a 7 year old made it, but I'm pretty proud of it. And I signed up for the 4 week workshop next month! Whee!

Gala + Time = party

After most people leave, we get to party hardcore with the people left, just like we used to do :)

On a side note, I just had a really tough meeting at work where I had to fight tooth and nail to get what I needed, and now I'm so exhausted. I can't wait for the stained glass workshop tonight. I think it'll be just the thing to take my mind off this.

And on a side side note, girl's game night, my place, either the 18th or 19th of January. And you're free to crash in the guest bedroom if need be.

Christmas time of year

Christmas was great this year. We had Monday evening and all of Tuesday off, so D and I also took Monday morning off so we could have a 4 day weekend. We also did that this coming weekend for the New Year, so I can't wait.
I got an email from my parents and brother about the presents I sent. It cost $110 to send everything in time for Christmas Eve, but it was worth it. They loved everything and I hope it made things a bit brighter.
We opened presents at our house on Christmas Eve also, and D got me great stuff, per usual, even thought we had put limits on our spending. I'm listening to a Just Jack CD right now that he found, got some great balsamic vinegar in the fridge, we watched Ratatouille on DVD......and there's other presents that I won't be telling you about ;)
We headed up to his parent's house on Christmas Day for dinner and presents - and brought an apple pie that we baked the night before (it actually turned out well!). We loaded the trunk of the Saab up with tons of presents (how we accumulated so many, I don't know) and I think the parents were very happy with what they got. I was happy too - they got me new Crazy Daisy dishes from ebay, kitchen linens and utensils to go with it, and even a Mutts sleep set made from organic cotton! And a fleece jacket direct from Saab with a cool, unobtrusive Saab logo. I'm so fancy :P
The fiancé got lots of clothes that he didn't like, but which I'm sure will make lots of more unfortunate people happy when we hit up goodwill. And of course he has presents from my family which haven't gotten here yet (cuz I'm a slacker and didn't send them the gift list early enough, oops).
We also got our annual bonus, aka, the ridiculously large sum of money that completely spoils us. But that went on the credit cards. We spent more money than I want to think of this month - I was free to leave the house, so we went out to eat a lot, there was the gala to buy for ($400 worth of just liquor - woohoo), presents, the tree, etc. And plus we went on a final spending spree last Tuesday because I found out I got certified in another app, so I get a bonus. D loves to spoil me, so he took me out to dinner and then we (aka, mostly I) dropped a lot of cash at the mall on more presents for parents and fun things for me.
This month has been fun. But I'm looking forward to the New Year, with a couple months to hibernate and recover :)

O Christmas Tree

For those of you not at the gala, here is the second annual 11ft Christmas tree in all it's splendor:

My mom doesn't like Christmas trees in general, so we always had 5 ft fake tree at home. Now that I'm gone she doesn't even bother to put the whole tree up - she just puts the top up on a table :P
So, for the second year in a row that I'm in a house with tall ceilings and a big living room, D and I have gotten a hugenormous tree and decorated it.

It makes me happy :)

Triumph!

Yesterday morning me and the fiancé got up at 7am, and heard the cat running around outside the bedroom (we keep the door closed on weekdays).
He went to go check out what the heck was going on, and I heard the dreaded words:
"It's the mouse again"
Yep, even though the cat had killed one a few weeks ago, there was another one.
So, the fiancé told me to give him a shoe and went into the guest bathroom after the mouse. We closed the door and stuffed a towel under it so the mouse was trapped. After many thumps and bumps, and the fiancé letting me know through the door that mice could climb and jump real well, he finally came out - the damn mouse was so cute that he couldn't kill it, and it managed to get under the vanity.
*sigh*
So, we went downstairs and got the $17 humane mouse trap that has so far NOT seen any action. I re-baited it with fresh peanut butter and we stuck in in the bathroom, in the hopes that it would get the mouse that we knew was in there.
Well, this morning D (the fiancé) went into the bathroom and proudly announced that "we had mouse interaction!" Yep, the light was blinking on the trap and we paid our last respects to the second dead mouse.
Let's hope that's it. Not that I really believe it.

On a side note, I'm thinking of taking a stained glass class in January. It sounds neat, and I'm pretty excited about it. Think of all the neat stuff I could make! I <3 stained glass.

Hello

"Look forth upon your life and don’t hang on
There’s a clear blue sky in the days to come
Take off your mind your wildest hopes
Your sweetest dreams, material thoughts
Open up your mind; let your spirit flow
Sweeping off the lie that divides your world
Deep into your heart let your soul become
Wake up and have a look outside the wall
Whatever thing I do or say, your dreams my fate
Your love, my faith … Does anything count at all?
Whatever place I go or stay is it a sign to live astray?
Does anything count at all?"
~Dreaminfusion

Pay it forward

So, I've decided to get involved in this pyramid scheme that Lucia is propagating, so here is my turn:
I hereby pledge to send a handmade gift to the first three people who comment on this entry. No real promises about time frame, but it’ll be within the next 365 days. In return, you have to post the same offer on your blog, and prepare to send a gift to three other people.

Can't wait to see what Lucia comes up with :)

Toca's Miracle

"If you're gonna save the day
And you're hearin' what I say
I feel your touch
Your kiss, it's not enough
And if you believe in me
Don't think my love's not for real
I won't take nothin' less then a deeper love
Tell me that you understand
And you'll take me as I am
You'll always be the one to give me everything
Just when I thought no one cared
You're the answer to my prayer
You lift my spirits high
Come on and rescue me
Let me tell you
I need a miracle
Its more than physical
What I need to feel from you..."
~Fragma

Damaged

I think I've hit a wall in my life, where nothing works and nothing changes, and I'm so tired.
To make it worse, it's snowed here, and if there is one thing I couldn't do before the accident, it was drive in snow. Now, I have less control and feeling in my right foot than before, which freaks me out even more, and the accident was partially caused by an icy, slippery road. I will never forget the feeling of abject terror that woke me from my alcohol-induced memory loss that night. I remember that feeling and the feeling of being completely out of control, and I remember the feeling of impact when I finally hit the tree. Those feelings will haunt me for the rest of my life. I couldn't even get out of our driveway today because I'm so inept at driving in snow, and that combined with the stress of preparing myself to drive in snow led to an impromptu breakdown in the fiancé's car as he drove me to work because I couldn't drive myself.
My relationship is in shambles, my friendships aren't doing so well either because of how I acted on Friday (I slid waaaaaaaaaay backwards into self-destructive mode again, after promising that I wouldn't), and even though I have my bracelet off, I can't go anywhere because of the snow and the paralyzing fear caused by the feelings from the accident. To make things worse, the heat in our house isn't working so it's 50 degrees and freezing, the dishwasher doesn't work, and the cat woke us up at 12am again, this time to show me the DEAD MOUSE he had in his mouth.
I feel like I'm stuck in life the same way I was stuck in my driveway - wheels spinning in overdrive and all I'm doing is fishtailing around.
I'm out of control and I want to deal with it the way I always do - by doing very self-destructive things that I won't mention here. I want to get out of that rut, but I have no idea what else to do.

"Dreaming comes so easily
Cause it's all that I know
True love is a fairy tale
I'm damaged, so how would I know
I'm scared
And I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know
I didn't say all the things I wanted to say
But you can't take back what you keep taking away
Cause I feel you
I feel you, near me
The feeling comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Many won't get close to me
I'm damaged
As I'm sure you know
I can't go back
I must go..."
~Plummet