I am abso-fucking-lutely terrified

So, at work I do tech support for a particular piece of the software for some customers. For one customer in particular, I'm also the lead of the whole the group of tech people who support to rest of the pieces.

This customer hasn't upgraded their software since 2001. They've decided to upgrade.

No one else has ever upgraded a customer this far before.

*gulp*

Ok, so this is good right? I get to lead a team of people and take the brunt of the work on something that has never been done before. We're getting said customer up to a more recent version, and that's good too. Ok. So I can do this. I can see the silver lining. I can do this. Hopefully.

I have just gotten ok with this responsibility - it could go really badly. But it could go really well and give me that cachet of doing something (well) that hasn't been done before. Ok. So I'm good.

But now, this customer just decided, just 2 1/2 months out, that they're not going to do their pieces of it. They're going to just pay the extra money and have us do it. So now - all of the people that I lead have to do twice as much work. That means I really need to motivate them and really keep them focused. Have I mentioned that I have shitty people skills, and don't really do well with that?

I also now get to do three times as much work, and I now have the entire responsibility for this on my shoulders.

Ok, so now I'm terrified. I'm still trying to see the silver lining, but it's just not coming.

*sigh*

Master bathroom!

So, this was our master bathroom. I don't have a picture of the bathroom before we took most of the wallpaper down, but it was BAD. Imagine *every* single painted surface of this bathroom covered in yellowing wallpaper that had tiny blue, pink and green flowers on it - it was so 70's-tastic, and not in the good way (you can see scraps of wallpaper in some of the photos below). We had a huge old-person toilet (tall and long), old people handle bars on the walls, and no decent towel hangers. In addition, the shower curtain was boring, the puffy valance on top of the window was light pink and the walls were in pretty bad shape once we took the wallpaper off.

After! We got all the wallpaper off and had the walls repainted white, got a new valance, new hardware, a new shower curtain, and a water-saver toilet (thank you City of Madison for the $100 rebate!). *All* this was less than $200 in parts, the labor (we had someone take off the rest of the wallpaper and paint the walls for us) was about $400. I decided to do a white, chocolate brown and light blue color scheme:

I now absolutely *adore* this bathroom! :)

Missing

At the risk of sounding like one of these people, I miss D. He was gone M-F last week and this week too, and even though I was also gone M-W of both weeks, I sincerely miss having him around.
*sigh*

Sober

"I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the morning
'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home
Aahh, the sun is blinding
I stayed up again
Oohh, I am finding
That's not the way I want my story to end
I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence...
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?
Aahh, the night is calling
And it whispers to me softly, "come and play"
Aahh, I am falling
And if I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame
When it's good, then it's good, it's so good, 'till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry 'Never again'
Broken down in agony just trying to find a friend
I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?
How do I feel this good sober?"
~Pink