Low Place Like Home

"Treat your life like a tragedy, self-inflict abuse
Treat your life like a tragedy, precious else to choose
Crucify yourself, I hope you find yourself
In a low place like home"
~Sneaker Pimps

Medicine

"Everybody's looking for what they want
And everybody's looking for what they need
Gotta keep on looking for what I want
But I don't even know your name
So I will call you medicine
You can ease my pain
I don't wanna feel the same
Tonight I need your medicine
To put out the flame
Medicine
Running through my veins"
~Kim Leoni

Bacon!

This year, D and I decided to get 1/2 a hog an 1/4 of a steer from farmer's market vendors to last us through the winter. The steer is currently hanging (moment of silence) so we won't get it for a couple more weeks, but we did get the pig already. D was kind enough to scan the receipt for me:







And just in case you can't read it (D's mother's scanner isn't the best) - that does read that we have 8.3 lbs of the most wonderful, delicious, heavenly bacon I have ever tasted (it's actually down to 7.4 lbs now :P).

EDIT: You can click on the picture to enlarge it!

Case in point....

I just re-found my college anthem!

"I'm drunk
And right now I'm so in love with you
And I don't want to think too much about what we should or shouldn't do
Lay my hands on heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars
While the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car
Nothing quite like the feel of something new
I swear
I just found everything I need
The sweat in your eyes the blood in your veins are listening to me
Well I want to rip it up and swim in it until I drown
My moral standing is lying down
Nothing quite like the feel of something new
Maybe I'm all messed up
Maybe I'm all messed up in you
This is the only time I really feel alive"
~NIN

I knew this would happen...

Apparently random drunken musings carry more weight than they were meant to. Sunday morning's post was me thinking out loud some thoughts that I've carried with me for many years now - this is nothing new, and no act spawned them.
This blog is a place for me to write down my thoughts as they come, a place for me to write stream-of-consciousness style so that I can work through my chaotic mind. So please - don't jump to conclusions :)

When is it cheating?

**Note: I freely admit to being tipsy if not drunk while writing this.**

So, when is it cheating? I was the kind of girl who couldn't commit to anyone in college, and slept with whatever guy was cute and willing, while seeing other guys. I never realized how damaging it was to said other guys, but it was. But now that I'm in a committed relationship (aka I'm married), what is considered cheating? Is it thinking about someone else? Is it making out with someone else? Is it getting off in front of someone else? Is it sleeping with someone else?
Obviously, most people say it's getting physical with someone other than your significant other. But is that where you draw the line? I mean, in college I had two-night stands. Not one-night stands - the guy and I would usually get tired of each other after two random nights, and that was cool with me. They weren't a mystery to me anymore, and I'm sure they felt the same way. But now that I'm married, I need to actually be faithful to one person, and what does that mean?
Does that mean I can't look at other guys and admire their physique?
I don't think so. I'm not dead.
But, hypothetically, does it mean missing out on the chance to make out with another (married or not) person with whom you've wanted to make out with for X number of years? Hypothetically, people, don't flood this entry with "shame on you" comments. But seriously, does getting married mean that you've given up the chance to ever get it on with anyone else?
I think it does, unfortunately. And I know some people will be annoyed that I'm asking this. And that's ok with me. I'm used to going against the grain :P
But what's difficult is giving up the chance to experience new guys. Everyone is new. And I enjoyed that in college, no doubt. The number that I slept with was in the double digits, which is ok with me, because it was FUN. Different. New. Etc etc. I always wanted to live my life in such a way so that, on my deathbed, I would lamant what I DID do (which I swore I'd never do, and I don't till this day), rather than what I DIDN'T do. I never wanted to be one of those people who wondered "what would have happened?". I know it's pretty much inescapable, but I can do my best to stop it. :)
So, again, if you get the chance to make out with someone who you've wanted to for X number of years, and you make out with them, but you stop short of having them get you off or them watching you get off, is that good?
Is it right?
Obviously the answer is that you should never get in that situation. But why does being bad always feel so good?

Pictures are up

The pictures from the RI wedding are up on the bellapictures.com/photos website! They're gorgeous. Lovelovelovelove our photographer.

Favorite picture right now: