It's hard to live up to this blog name right now

I managed to get down a bit of fried rice last night. That's all I've eaten since Wednesday afternoon. I tried coffee this morning, but Damon had to pull over the car later so I could throw up all over the sidewalk.

I can't wear contacts anymore. I gave up last night. My eyes burn so badly from the so many, many tears I've shed.

I can't sleep without dreaming of my poor, poor, kitty cat.

I can't do this.

We came home from vacation Wednesday night to find him in distress and immediately rushed him to the ER vet. They kept him until Friday morning, when he was transferred to the ICU at the UW vet hospital. He has HCM, which at this point, since he's in severe heart failure, is lethal.

My poor baby, who I've had for only five and a half short years, is dying as I type this. My sweetie, who kept me company when I was injured. My love, who wanted nothing more than to curl up with me at night. The light of my life, who always met me at the door and wanted to talk when I got home. My sweet, sweet kitty cat who always wanted to "help" me with work when I was working on the computer until late in the night. The one animal that loved me so unconditionally that he always adjusted wonderfully when we uprooted him to live in a new place (5 times by now). My dear who always wanted to go outside, but turned into such a scared little boy on the couple times he managed to do so.

My Sam, my poor, poor, sick, little boy, you are the best friend a girl could ever have. Please, fight. Please, give me just a few more days with you. I love you so much, and my heart is so totally broken right now.

Please. Just a little more time.