Thursday, August 16, 2007

Shifting interests

So, last night I went to a tasting held by NARAL Pro-Choice WI, and it seemed to include many of my recent interests:
1) Pro-choice activism
2) Getting out and trying new things
3) Local food (wine, beer, cheese and chocolate were offered and it was all local)
It was an interesting time - I don't regret going, but I don't know if I'd go in the future. I donate a lot of money, and maybe I'll start donating time too, we'll see.
Then this morning my fiancé asked me "Do you look forward to the weekend?"
Well, yeah. Duh. It's the weekend where I can sleep in and do fun things (like tear up the town, which I did with Ding last Saturday night, and which was a RIDICULOUS amount of fun). He confessed that he didn't - cuz there was all this stuff to do. We need to cook a large amount of food that we got at the farmer's market, clean the fish's tank, do tons of laundry, and we're going to the Sweet Corn Festival in Sun Prarie.
To me, that was a silly reason to not like the weekend, and it got me thinking.
Before the accident, I gave money to NARAL and Planned Parenthood, but I didn't go to any events or think about volunteering. I didn't go out as much and do many things with the girls and the group, and I did all my grocery shopping at Copps instead of taking advantage of the farmer's market.
The other morning, the fiancé said that he was impressed with me and my dedication to the Farmer's Market - we haven't missed a Wednesday since we started going (and I'm not known for getting up early if I don't have to). And I was talking to my mom the other week about the homemade mozzerella and the fact that we got all our veggies and meat and milk and eggs from local sources, and telling her about our garden on the deck, and the fact that we fed the fiancé's parents a HUGE 4 course meal, with 90% of stuff from the FM, and how cool it was, and she was like "Wow Jenn, you've really changed". And she meant it in a good way.
So yeah, my interests have shifted, and it's all because I can't wear high heels and because I realized how important friends are to have. I used to rely on being pretty to get attention and I had a killer pair of legs. Now I have a screwed up leg that barely works and scars on my face. I needed a new set of interests to go with my new life. Local food, activism and trying new things to broaden my horizons all seemed like interests that were bigger than me, and focusing on them helped get my mind off me, and all the things wrong with me.
Seriously, the fact that I can't wear high heels is the biggest blow to me emotionally. Silly, I know, but it really really really hurts.
So, instead of pushing people away, I'm trying to let them in. Instead of focusing on me, I'm trying to focus on the bigger picture.
It's a long journey, and it's hard, but I actually think it's paying off.

1 comment:

11frogs said...

Limp on, sister, limp on! We love the out-and-about activist cooking you, and we will go to places that don't require high heels and eat your four-course local meals any time :)