Broken

I am so broken. My heart is broken because my engagement is broken and my relationship is gone and I don't know how to get it back without sacrificing my happiness.
But I don't want to have to do this all over. I don't want to live alone in an apartment. I don't want to have to start again.
What's my alternative? An emotionally abusive relationship?
2007 will be remembered as the year that has taken everything away from me. What's next? Will my father, who I called at 3am EST and talked to until 5am EST because I didn't want to be alone, die in a horrible car accident?
I have always tried to be a good person. Why is this year so hard?

"I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away..."
~Seether feat. Amy Lee